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Reflections 2011
Reflections 2011

 I could not sleep much while reflecting of the past year after moving into the Liberty Tower. Short or long time, many things had happened.

Firstly and happiest of all, was our third granddaughter, Carys who was born healthy from my daughter Hanna about 6 months after we had moved. While our two other granddaughters Naomi and Evangeline was born when we were still living with Hanna, we had changed their diapers and had played with them lots, so they were quite affectionate with us. Carys is much different from her older sisters. The two sisters cried a lot, but she almost does not. When she does, she would only cry for short time then stop. Her voice isn’t that high either.  If I hold her and sing a lullaby she falls asleep. When she wakes up after a long time of sleep, she doesn’t cry. The first two granddaughters look like the father, but Carys is like her mother and has more Asian look. Odd enough though, her skin is whiter than her sisters. Once every week we visit our daughter’s place so she can rest, and that we can look after our dear granddaughters. She lives about 25 minutes from Liberty Tower.

Reflecting upon the last year, many of the tenants had passed away. A new tenant is in once a month. Most of them are very elderly and would live alone, then become unhealthy and move to a nursing home. Or some just simply move out to a larger senior apartment. There was a healthy Korean elderly lady in her 80s. After not seeing her for many days, I found out that she had suddenly passed away. Another was a very energetic Mexican lady in her 80s. She even drives her own car, and dresses like the younger generations. She also suddenly passed away. In the senior apartment, I belong to the “younger” generation. When I see those who are having difficulty walking, or those who can walk barely with supports, sitting alone, tired, I could see they were beautiful and healthy when they were young. I feel sorrow to them. There is a Chinese lady who lives in the next apartment who came to the United States in 1965. She speaks English fluently. There is a look on her face that makes it feel like she is struggling to get out of the loneliness. Whenever there is time, she would take a small shopping bag and a cart and go around the neighbor here and there, looking lost. Her back is rather stooped from a long time of having her body positioned forward.

While I was here for about a year now, I can feel the writing of philosopher Søren Aabye Kierkegaard, “The Sickness Unto Death (Sygdommen til Døden)”. So the previous year was a valuable time for us, to reflect and think about loneliness and death. A death that only comes once; it is a time, separated from family in old age, alone. But there is no need to fear for that. It’s only a short time before walking with the Lord. My wife and I started to think, what would possibly the best way to end? The solution was exercise daily in the senior center and swim. Also walk for about 50 minutes a day while standing straight…

As of now, I come to the office to do work, or to meet with people but…

There is one day when I will no longer be able to drive. I thought of things to do when we would become alone short time in future. In the lobby of our senior apartment, there is a chart for the visitors to write in their time and their time leaving. There is a column to write the room number. Some, the children visits frequently. Some, there is almost none. In a country that is large, children living long distances away, there is no chance to really visit. Soon, the relationship becomes thin, and becomes forgotten. So I tell to those who I see now, “When I am no longer able to drive, please come and visit my place in certain time.” Most of them answer “I will visit. No need to worry.” It’s like stamping the seal early on. It’s a rather forceful solution to the “Relationship Cut-off”. I also thought to never stop reading, and continue to study.

Last January on the 19th, we did our evening walk as the usual. The light was green and we were almost at the center of street, when a mid-sized truck came at us in the left-turn lane while was still red. The driver did not see us and has just driven fast. Our couple barely escaped by jumping away at the last minute. Several drivers rolled down their window and said, “Are you all ok?” in concerned tones. I was really ok. I give thanks to the Lord.

Last December I was in charge of checking the lights and fuses to light up the entire Liberty Tower. It was a very well-rewarding work. Also it was our 40th wedding anniversary. Though it was an arranged marriage, it has been 40 wonderful years in the Lord. I give thanks to my wife that, despite the hard years she had helped me. The last thing was that the Lord had sent us to another Bethany Alliance Church from where we had worked in Morgan Hill. They had sent us out to open another house church in Santa Clara area. Our couple had worshiped alone in the studio for 2 months, but God had sent a couple and was able to praise the Lord in utmost. The Lord has blessed us and made us have another home church. I can only be thankful to the past year. Hallelujah!

(March 2012)
Number Title Reference
20 Epilogue: 20 Months
19 The Power of Habits
18 Congratulations!
17 Living in fast lane
16 Reflections 2011
15 On the 40th Anniversary
14 Butler of Light
13 Happy Birthday
12 Unexpected Rain
11 Short Ribs (Wang Galbi)
10 Like mother
9 Waving the American Flag
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