Chapter 7 – 10th Give Thanks and Praise Night (2)
Several years ago, Mrs. Choi wanted to publish a CD of the hymns that I wrote and Elder Kwon composed. But she was forced to stop that idea because her health was starting to turn, and her vocal cord was starting to become problematic. But she had even better idea despite herself not able to do her idea. She wanted to present the 10th Give Thanks and Praise Night to God. When she told me of her plan, I was greatly thankful but, I told her that it would be hard for her to work alone. I told her to ask me if she ever needed some help. But she had said that she wanted to work this solely herself and to show her thanks and gladness that she received. I did not know what else to say to her.
Mrs. Choi was the vice chair of “Southern California Musician’s Associate” in year2012. She realized that Elder Kwon and I have worked together for 30 years, and wanted to commemorate our workmanship together to form a “dedication night”. She had prepared all the soloists, place to gather, advertisement, newspaper and magazine interviews, along with broadcasting, and even the program order, banner and fellowship food.
While she was still serving her church and jobs…
When I asked her the preparation was very difficult to process, and with a difficulty in singing, how she would be able to sing solo 2 songs, she had sent a message in detail explaining her situation.
“While I was preparing the “10th Give Thanks and Praise Night” I had a very difficult situation. It is because my vocal cord had a problem. (There was a small bump there) Even practicing for a short time my voice would become husky, so while my situation was in sorrow, I had knelt in front of God to pray.
From there, I started a wordless shout. I started to lip-sync while in sadness. As a person who sings hymns, the situation was the worst of the worst, and to give God the best, I had opened my mouth in silence again and again. Of course it was continued this way. After work I went to church. I continued to shout wordlessly with the podium as a stage. This continuing of silent shouts made me cry several times in my eyes and my heart. This wordless despair had shaken me, and made me weak. I wanted to sing hymns well. I wanted to show people that God is real through those deeply written hymns.
With changes of despair to hope, I had asked myself is this to really praise the Lord, or to show myself in-front of people. I had thought ok, let’s focus on the Lord. If he is my focus, I will not be ashamed. The Lord is the only person that will take me as who I am and would show me comfort.
But because of my human nature, I had once again fallen discouraged and started to worry. This made me kneel in the Lord’s presence, and he made me realized that, “the hymns you sing, what is about it? Why do you not understand while you practice? Why do you not get comforted by the meaning of the songs?” I came to this realization. One of the hymns I sang, “The Lord Holds My Hand”, in part of the lyrics, “When I sit tired and lonely in tears, the Lord who is near holds my hand.” I had realized that the Lord holds my hand. It was true! The Lord has held my hand. Let us gather courage and strength! I will sing for the true Lord alone! I had started to pray in thanks to the Lord when I knew the hard times I had been given to my lord. I was able to get up knowing that the Lord will take care of everything of what was ahead.”
The 10th Praise and Thanks Night was held in Los Angeles Korean United Presbyterian Church, which was planted and found by members of the workers who had immigrated into the mainland United States after their work permit had expired working in sugarcane fields in Hawaii. It was those who had gathered in Los Angeles who made 1 story brick house of Korean Meeting Hall. Not only is Elder Kilsang Kwon a member of this church, his older brother, Pastor Peter (HeeSang) Kwon had once ministered that church a long time ago. I knew this praise night would be much greater in meaning because it was to commemorate and dedicate the 30 years of work I had done with elder Kwon.
I cannot thank enough to Mrs. Choi that the 10th Praise and Thanks Night had ended in such a beautiful way. (It was held on April 21st, 2012) Furthermore, she was able to sing such a deep, meaningful hymn despite her frail health. I give her praise and thanks. While she was singing that hymn (‘The Lord Holds My Hand’), I had closed my eyes and like praying, listening to her. I pray and thank that all those time she had spent, her prayers, tears and sweat preparing the event, and praising the Lord despite her failing voice, all those praise glorify the Lord in the Throne with all the participants.
(February 18th, 2013)
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Why didn’t you come? (1) 
The 10th