I’m fine!

It’s just my guess but, most of the residents in the senior apartment have passed their 80s. Recently, 2 new Korean seniors had started taking residence. They are both having hard time moving around and look like in the late 80s. I wonder how they managed to get a place like this in such advanced age. Seeing them walk around barely with walk-assister makes me wonder why they are here in the first place.

The first thing I get concerned is their ability to make food and eat. Having difficulty of moving, I wonder how they are able to prepare meals for themselves. Seeing that is the natural cause of their weakening system. If they fall, no one is there to look out for, nor is there a way to contact someone to help. I heard one story of one senior who passed away while having a meal. I never had experienced this before, but quite often I see ambulances and fire trucks parking outside very often. If I see the managers bustling about, I know someone had ended up in the emergency room.

I remember distinctively a fireman who came to give us a seminar about living healthy. One of the worst to go far worse than cancer was from falling. Many of them would end up with cerebral hemorrhage or fracture of bones and become permanently disabled or enter into a state of comatose or worse walk with difficulties. The worst case comes when there is no one to help then death is almost certain.

Last Saturday (March 11^th), my wife went outside to walk during the afternoon. Early morning usually I walk with my wife. My wife usually walks two times a day while I do a light muscle exercise at home. However, I noticed my wife’s right cheek was very swollen when she came back that day. Seeing her closer, I noticed it was cement floor rubbing damage. About 1.5inch of her cheek area was damaged. Under her eyes it had slowly turned black from bruising. Fortunately, despite the floor damage, my wife was not bleeding much.

I was shocked and told my wife we had to go to emergency care. But surprisingly, my wife’s expression was very calm despite the injury looking very painful. She told me it was not hurting. I was guessing perhaps her migraine was causing the pain to be focused somewhere else? But there were no symptoms of that. Also I looked at her arms and knees but nothing happened. She said. “I am fine!” she just said that the only thing she would need is ointments to treat this injury.

My wife told me that, the moment she was about to fall, she felt a presence of someone grabbing her. This was not something to pass on simply. From my past experience in life, when I was down and sad, from huge difficulties to the storms of the life, God had never let go of my hand. The hymnal I wrote, “He Holds my Hands” was the starting then Elder KilSang Kwon composed for it and is currently a hymn that we sing.

While I was the superintendant of C&MA for Korean District, I was visiting many local churches from our denomination in Northern California particular in San Jose area. After visiting was over, my wife and I were heading back to the airport. During which I saw my wife nearly escape near disaster. While going up to the boarding area on the 2^nd floor, I was going ahead of her on the escalator with the bags to go up. My wife was following behind with the bag in front of her when around the midway point, the bag had tipped over and she fell along with the bag back to the first floor! I heard several people scream and turned around to see the situation, but nothing much could’ve been done. I was worried and had rushed back down to the first to pick my wife back up. Many people expected her to be hurt badly and would need to be sent to emergency care.

The amazing thing was, she could’ve been very badly hurt from the sharp corners of the stairs, or has her clothing jammed between the stairs, or even hurt head from the falling bag, but she stood up and dusted her clothes like nothing happened. After some calming down, I asked her if she was ok and she said everything was fine! Humanely this was a very bad situation yet, she was safe and we both had returned to Southern California afterwards. While serving the Lord, I must trust and hold fast to him was the thing I had learned in the past.

“ Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18~20 “The Great Commission”)

Sometimes while some things may happen, I feel sometimes God does not answer. Either he makes me wait patiently out or just not there. But one thing is certain; he will never leave me and always is there for me. The one who makes me wait is God, and letting me mature from my failure was Gods will too.

But one thing is true, whether the recent event of my wife getting hurt or tripping from the elevator, my God who steadily anchors and holds my hand during the life’s storms never lets go and is there and is always there for me. I could never thank him enough for such grace.

(March 18^th, 2017)