|
|
|
Of 3,000 Manuscripts
Around mid-December of this year, I had to move out of our current residence. The reason was because the building was constructed near 40 years ago, it had to be rebuilt and retrofitted. Apparently the construction will take up about 4 months of time, or longer.
It had been 37 years since I had immigrated to the United States. People may not believe it, but I had moved total of 21 times as an immigrant. I had lived like the wanders, pitching my tent, then move from places to places, just like the nomads. Despite this being a short move, this is the 22nd time I had moved. I cannot predict for sure, but I know that on the day the Lord calls upon me, I hope this would the place in this planet as the final resting place.
There are so many difficulties every time I have to move. I do not have that many household goods. Few bookshelves, a small drawer (purchased about 3 years ago in a garage sale), and plastic drawer for all my clothes is all I have. The problem is in the books I have. I had donated most of my books to the Youth Born Again group when I was moving to United States, save for few books which I had put in the immigration bag. I have no clued how I was able to accumulate so many books in time.
While moving from Fullerton near Orange County to New Jersey after my superintendant term had ended, I had donated most of my books there. From New Jersey to Sunnyvale office to the current office near the airport, I had once again donated few books to pastors I know. But unfortunately, despite this, I still needed about 15 boxes worth of book and still needed 2 more boxes to finish filling it. Even my office is crammed with books. I think it is because every year I plan on reading 2~3 books per month. Also the fact that many of the seminars I have to prepare and to attend for referencing I had purchased, so it had snowballed from the 10 year period.
In the apartment I reside, the office management had a contract with a moving company that agreed to help with the moving. However, I have a small lack of trust from experience. While moving from the East to West, West to East, I had asked a moving company to help with my belonging and every often I would have a box of important things going missing. So I was slightly worried and peeved that a box of very important books would go missing from moving. So I had this time decided to move them into my daughter’s place and had moved them there.
My shoulders were slightly sore nowadays because of this…
One thing that I was slightly iffy about was how to deal with all the manuscripts I had of all the sermons I had written. In the 1980s when I had first moved, computers were rare and expansive. So all my sermons, whether for my church or as a guest speaker were written by hand. Until 2001 as a superintendant to use my own computer, it was all done by hand. After that I had decided to use computer instead and save from thereon.
I had decided that one day I would re-write the entire sermon (of 37 years worth!) of 22 moves into the computer. However, to write over 3,500 sheets worth of paper into computer would be more like a “wishful thought” instead. I do not do any senior pastoral work, however I feel like there is a lack of time to actually go through sheet by sheet to retype them. Reason is, the books I read as a review, getting ready for seminar, hymnal poems, and sometimes essays have taken all the time I am allotted to do so is very tight.
After running the marathon that is of life, I had concluded that there is just not much time left in me. So I had decided that the papers cannot be recycled, nor burn them. My daughter’s place has a fire extinguisher, but there is no adequate place to start a fire. Because I do not want a fire to spread to other places by accident and start a fire hazard. Even more so, I cannot take outside to burn it. Even during the time in retreats, I had to call the fire station to start a camp fire with permission.
So, in the end the fate of the papers were to be shredded. I spent many hours shredding 20 years worth of sermon notes, seminar notes, and reflecting upon it, I could picture how I was as a pastor. I tried my best to spread the gospel but, someone lacking like me in spirit (even so now,) it was meek with interpreting of the words and to understanding it fully.
I had a rather amused thought of how the evening cleaning person would come in and suddenly see mounds of shredded documents coming out for days to come.
Most of the people who had received of my hand-written sermons would have passed away by now. The handful that are still alive, I barely meet at times. The one small wish I have is I had done justice in spreading the gospel, of what happens to sinful person, the judgment, and thereof would be done properly. That way, another person would repent and be a child of God, to be full of spirit through prayer and the Word, and to start another disciple of God.
(10-25-2017) |
|
Why? 
Of 3,000 Manuscripts