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“I want you to have hope for change today!”
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Chapter 6 - “I want you to have hope for change today!”
During 5th grade I went to church with my 2nd oldest brother who has just finished his military service. At that time period there were no TVs nor were there radios. To watch a movie we had to go to a theater. But whenever I went to church there was a movie to watch when missionaries came to visit the church. Also every year there was one or two bible quizzes and I always had a good grade and won prizes. The prize was a small aluminum kettle. At that time woman evangelist (Jundosanim) HyangSook Choi thought I would become a pastor. But during 2nd year in middle school I had left church because the new bible teacher only showed favoritism to that he/she liked and felt left out.
But once or twice every year I visited church (a different church after I had moved). But the bible teacher in this church was more concerned about his/her own work rather than the new students so I always came home feeling lonely. So therefore it was more of a lost sheep that wanted a home, but more like the lost sheep came home but the owner who didn’t really care about anything.
This and that, made me pull further away from church. After high school I was working full time. Sometimes I was forced to work during Sundays as well. In front of my work place there was a big church. So sometimes I would stop work and drop in for a worship service. The senior pastor was very fierce and confident in his preaching. Whenever the service was over I wanted to shake hands with the pastor but never had the chance. If someone who knew the pastor well, he would hold hands longer so I was pushed out because of the long line.
A year or so after my graduation from high school, the 2nd brothers’ wife said “Young man, come to church where I’m attending” she told me the location and the time of worship service. To my memory the date was on a third week of May, 1963. This church would be the start of my faith – YoungNak Presbyterian Church of Seoul. It was a very large church and had many members with lots of kindness. During that time I didn’t have much of a future and wasn’t really satisfied with the current situation so I was dressed in rebellious looks. I had completely shaved my head. Bad looks and a shaved head for rebellious look? The more I think now the more funny it gets.
During the service I did not know which verse in the bible to lookup, nor did I know the hymn well enough so I wasn’t really singing much, but a gentleman who was in his fifties found me the verse. I was embarrassed but thanked him. After the service was over, he gave me his business card and told me to call me whenever needed. I found that he was an owner of a company. To me it was a shock for someone who owns a company to give his business card to someone who was a resident worker (it was more of a position) and rebel.
The pastor preached with the most well knows verse, John 3:16 with the topic of “God’s Love”. This verse was the pivotal point of changing my life, making me meet with Jesus Christ. His message was definite and with full of confidence. With his sermon there was this resonance of returning to Jesus. Even during the message I still remember when the pastor said “There are people here who need love from Jesus. There are people whose hearts have hardened because of neglected love. God loves you unconditionally. Even if you can’t love God can change that through his love so he can make you love. Will you believe in him and change?” That was a particular message that touched my heart.
Because my mother was so busy supporting us, after father has passed away it was difficult for her to look after all our siblings. After all my other siblings got old enough to be married they all left to live on their own. I felt like a lost sheep – a fostered child even thought I had a family. My early life was difficult. I thought I would never make it past the hardship, like a wave that I couldn’t defeat. (My psychological balance was unstable because of the neglected childhood even though I knew my mother loved me very much.)
After the sermon was over and during the time of prayer, I said “Yes! I will trust the LORD and be his children!” when he had finished praying, I said Amen believing I can be changed. After that I had started to become a believer in Jesus Christ. We were giving offerings while singing the hymn number 373 and it was sang by a special soloist.
Do you know the world is dying For a little bit of love?
Everywhere we hear the sighing For a little bit of love?
For the love that rights a wrong Fills the heart with hope and song;
They have waited ,oh, so long, For a little bit of love
For a little bit of Love, For a little bit of Love
They have waited, oh, so long, For a little bit of love.
(1st Verse)
To the special soloist who sang this hymn I give praise and thanks to God.
During the announcements the pastor who preached, (Pastor KyungJik Han) came out and said “Those who are new to this church and want to believe in him, and those who just moved here and is new please come on out to this side (pointing at the left side of the front stand) and go downstairs into the Kindergarten’s room and register please.”
After I was writing out my information someone was patting my shoulder and saw that Pastor Han smiled at me, shook my hand and said the most important thing ever to me.
“Young man, I want you to have hope for change today!”
After I discovered God at the same time I met my most admiring pastor. During the handshake what he told me was a turning point of my life. “Young man, don’t just go in and out of church, join a Bible study class that’s fits you for you to grow in faith.”
I had found out later that YoungNak Presbyterian Church already had a 4th service. After every service Pastor Han would go to the doorpost to greet church members. After he would as soon as possible went to greet new comers in kindergartener’s room. Before the next service he prepared the choir members in prayer as encouragement. Then he would preside to the worship service. His shepherd like guidance to a lost sheep with a great passion always makes me bow my head thinking about it.
(2011 January)
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YoungNak Presbyterian Church World Gospel Mission 
“I want you to have hope for change today!”